Resistance Play
» Atypical BDSM
Depending on the style it may be called force play, primal play or resistance play.
The beginning of a good thread - focus faded at first while people get sidetracked in discussions of safewords - but then gets back on topic.
Allow me to explain. I don’t really like the obedience part of a BDSM situation. I find it stupid with submissives saying “Yes Master/Mistress” all the time. I don’t see the thrill in something being done by the command of another if the one commanding has no direct influence over the one being commanded. I find pure obedience only practiced because of the desire for it to be silly (but that is just my opinion, so please don’t take offence from it).
Would it not be fun if the submissive, when tied up, instead of screaming “Fuck me hard, Master!”, would struggle against the ropes and grit teeth in anger? This is at least what I find myself enjoying the thought of most. There may still be something I like about obedience, but I can’t quite put my finger on it yet.
A good and thorough list:
The following are random thoughts on the topic interspersed with questions that a top and bottom should ask themselves during negotiation of a resistance scene.
Bondage can always simplify this style of play:
I’m a novice at this kind of play, playing with someone with a lot of experience and skill. Sometimes I feel that I’m being selfish as a bottom (“wow, someone is bothering to do all this stuff to *me*”) and I want to make sure it’s fun for him, too. Evidence and direct inquiry so far would indicate it is, but I thought I’d ask for pointers from people who also play this way.
Question about Resistance Play in Rope Bondage
Comments
Like the writer of the first quote, the protocol side of bdsm doesn’t interest me. But when you’re genuinely struggling against someone and they still end up dominating you, that’s incredibly hot! On top of that, it’s just plain fun.
Some see resistance play as less “pure” since the sub is struggling against the dom/me; but for those into resistance play, this is what the dom/me wants as well.
Posted by: roo-roo | January 28, 2007 11:08 AM
Some good thoughts but, when I’m tied up against the wall and my Mistress uses electric toys or canes/floggers to hurt me and I struggle to avoid the pain…am I not resisting? I’m certainly not just standing there and saying to myself ‘wow - that hurt!’ When she gets that cane or the electric flowing from her to me, it’s a struggle to see who will win - I resist the pain (although I crave it) and I resist giving up…the most important thing to me is not to give in - I’ve given my body to her and she can do what she likes with it and I shouldn’t stop any proceedings (within SSC of course).
Posted by: rellor | February 7, 2007 6:54 AM
You are talking about endurance.
Resistance play involves “brattiness” or rebelliousness.
Posted by: Richard | February 7, 2007 8:38 AM
i like resistance play too. i have been called a sam and this feeds those needs. i know there are those that disapprove of this behavior but i sometimes like to disobey on purpose or get a little mouthy and be punished for it. i also like to resist the punishment a little. For example, struggle with my Master as He is restraining me or tying me down. During the punishment i continue to be a little bratty, but with increased intensity eventually i am broken and it brings me an intense feeling of submissiveness that last for days. It really helps my slave heart. i was once wearing a T-shirt that read “I humbled the humbled one”. A female Domme replied to me, “that’s nothing, when you humble the proud one then you have something to brag about”. i think this is a good argument for an occasional resistance scene. It reinforces to the sub that your Dom does have power/control over you.
Posted by: justine | June 4, 2008 10:42 PM